


Something You Can Rely On

by still_lycoris



Category: X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 01:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9213800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_lycoris/pseuds/still_lycoris
Summary: When Erik visits the mansion, he always comes to Raven at night. Raven sometimes wonders if she should stop him.





	

When Erik visits the mansion, he always comes to Raven's bed.

Maybe she should stop him. She _could_ stop him. She probably should have stopped him right at the beginning but it's not too late. She could always tell him that she doesn't want to any more, give any excuse that she wanted to – or even tell the truth. Erik would accept it, she knows that. Erik has many faults but accepting other people's sexual desires was never one of them. If she tells him that she doesn't want him any more, he'll leave her be.

Particularly if she tells him that she doesn't want to do _this_ any more.

She understands it. She does. Perhaps she hasn't lost as many people as Erik but she _has_ lost. She has felt the agony of people torn away too soon, of friends and lovers gone before you were ready. She knows Erik's pain. 

Perhaps that is why she hasn't stopped it.

He comes to her in silence now, stepping into her room without even turning on the light. She always knows that it is him, always knows what he wants now. She never makes him ask. She changes her body with an easy flicker of power, changing her hair to brown, her skin to pink. Her body mass alters, taking on new dimensions that are not her own.

She becomes Magda.

Erik always stays silent. He doesn't speak to her like she's his wife, he doesn't even call her by Magda's name. He never has, even when he was asking for this the first time, _begging_ for it. He doesn't like her to talk either, shushes her when she whispers his name. He comes to her side and kisses her, hard and desperate, frantic. His hands run roughly over her skin, fingers rake through her hair and down her back. She kisses him back, presses close to him, strokes him more gently than he does her, encouraging him to relax, to be still, to be peaceful. He cannot be, of course. Sometimes, Raven wonders if he was like this with Magda anyway, rough and desperate because in Erik's heart, he always fears that this time will be the last.

Because one time, it always will be.

She sometimes thinks that he doesn't even pretend that she's Magda, despite the form that he has her take. That he knows what he's doing to himself and does it anyway because he needs to, because he can't forgive himself for what happened. That in some strange way, this is a punishment and not a pleasure.

All the more reason to make him stop. 

But there are some things that she misses too. Some things that she wants. She and Erik had something once, something complicated and strange and perhaps even wrong but something. Something that she has missed.

She cares for him. She always has. She always will, just as he will always care for her. There is a reason he could ask her for this. A reason she could give it.

Some things cannot be left behind.

He always makes sure that she comes but rarely reaches orgasm himself. Raven has tried to push it a few times but Erik usually shoves her away then, sometimes even leaves and Raven doesn't like that. If she doesn't push it, he'll hold her close and stroke the sleek dark hair and bury his face in it. Usually that leads him to sleep, to sleep deeply and Raven knows that he needs it. One thing Erik always found hard to find was a good night's sleep.

A little something she can give him that she _knows_ he needs.

Perhaps it's wrong. Perhaps it's unhealthy. Certainly it's messed up.

But she cares for him. He cares for her.

Sometimes that's all you can rely on in this life.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 12dayschristmas 2016


End file.
